Qibla Durust | قبلہ درست

orienting queer life due Allah

  • The Call

    Shuffling Ostara Tarot deck, a deck I haven’t introduced myself to officially yet, or introduced to myself. A deck that’s been traveling a lot and far to get to me. Many cities, an ocean, a great big carbon footprint. Out pops the Magician. Sideways. I righted her, though. What began was an uncomfortable investigation in… Read more

  • میں جو سر بسجدہ ہوا کبھی تو زمیں سے آنے لگی سدا تیرا دل تو ہے صنم آشنا تجھے کیا ملے گا نماز میں اقبال Read more

  • Sickie, hate thyself (don’t).

    I’ve been feeling like shit for about four or five days now. Premenstrual; got period today. First I was depressed, then I got a weird aura for about a day almost. Not aura, prodrome. Something. I don’t see anything but my vision is fucked in exactly the shape of what people say is an aura.… Read more

  • Who is my advocate?

    رَبُّ المشرِقِ والمغرِبِ لا الهَ إلّا هُوَ فاتَّخِذُهُ وَكِيلاً the rabb of the east and the west, there is no god but him so take him as your advocate 7:39 I was in Qur’an class today with my teacher. We were studying a different surah, but she spoke about this surah as something we’ll start… Read more

  • be-jamaat – بے جماعت

    بے جماعت: to be without a jamaat. It looks a lot more ominous than I intended, but I wonder if it’s a real thing. That we are, in some sense, be-jamaat until we find each other, we queers. Yes? We are without a jamaat. با جماعت: ba jamaat, literally with jamaat, but actually means to… Read more

  • be-jamaat

    I can’t pray without other people. Since we started being involved queer and feminist jamaat, I’ve realized how important praying in jamaat is. And now that I’m mostly alone in the parental home for a bit, I don’t feel like praying because it’s lonely and doesn’t feel real. I wonder if that’s a bad thing,… Read more

  • Letter to the Gay Boy Tola II

    You can’t call me a bitch. Just because you use female pronouns amongst yourselves sometimes and I’ll sometimes use male pronouns — and none of us is trans — doesn’t mean that you are a woman too or just like a woman. You can’t call me bitch. You can’t ask me if I wax my… Read more

  • Fibromyalgia is so complex, and annoying. Day before yesterday, during a communal event that was emotionally full (and somewhat taxing, but mostly wonderful), I got a knot in the middle of my chest that I thought was pure emotion. Over time I realized it’s gas. But when I cured the gas situation by the end… Read more

  • We interrupt this programme for a public service reminder: feminist-aspiring cis het men are such a fucking disappointment you may now go about your business. Read more

  • I have been imamah for two Friday prayers since Muharram started. They were inclusive and queer and beautiful. And awkward and gentle and trepidatious and brilliant. Queer jamaat is beautiful. Alhamdulillah. Read more

  • Babies

    I’m afraid to bring a male-bodied child into this world. Because I’m not sure he won’t be an asshole. A Pakistani, Sunni-born, male Muslim child in Pakistan, born in a queer household. What could go wrong? What could go right? There are so many cishet assholes. So many cis assholes. So many assholes. Read more

  • Sign, Symbol, Signifier

    Accidentally, without noticing, I was using Qur’anic verses as guides to my day. I decided, somehow, that whatever thought process or algorithm or randomizer operates the “ayat of the day” feature of most Muslim and Qur’an apps was somehow also/in actuality a sign from God to pay attention to. And then I would contemplate it.… Read more

  • the azaan is calling me since yesterday and i’m decidedly not listening. what’s my problem? Read more

  • News of some sort

    A friend’s childhood abuser died today. Of multiple shitty injuries. Before I knew it was him that died, I already sent on a prayer for his easy passing into Allah’s grace. I didn’t take it back once I found out, but. I apologized to my friend for the prayer. My friend replied that it’s okay,… Read more

  • So… Tarot’s not haram, right? Asking for a friend. Read more

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