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difficulty | مشکل haye Allah | ہائے اللہ

Fibromyalgia is so complex, and annoying.

Day before yesterday, during a communal event that was emotionally full (and somewhat taxing, but mostly wonderful), I got a knot in the middle of my chest that I thought was pure emotion. Over time I realized it’s gas. But when I cured the gas situation by the end of the day, I was exhausted.

Yesterday, I had a migraine that started with my hair roots being on fire with pain on one side of my head and my arm going numb. It took ages for it to even register as a migraine, and when ti did it blew my head off. It fucked up all my cheer by 10pm (which is okay, I slept at 1am), but I was having a good day and it just fucked me up.

Today I woke up energetic and became grumpy for no reason within half an hour. Two and a half hours later, my whole body is exhausted and my joints hurt.

Fibromyalgia is crazy. Happy is not a tenable goal. Just a waystation through a bonkers life of exhaustion and pain.

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